2 Months

At 2 months old Chance is...

• 13 lb. 11 oz.
• 24 in. long
• wearing 3-6 month clothes and size 2 diaper
• staying awake more and more each day
• getting interested in toys
• sleeping 10 hours at night, only waking to eat once
• loving his big brother
• smiling and cooing (but we really have to work for it)
• much more high maintenance than Bentley was
• still not taking a bottle or pacifier

Chance's Arrival

I tried not to have many expectations of how my labor and delivery would go so that I couldn't really be disappointed when it didn't work out that way. I know enough to know that no matter what, it wasn't really up to me when and how he would make his arrival.

My pregnancy was wonderful (after the 12 week visit drama was over). Everything was smooth sailing except I continually measured big. Ultrasounds showed him measuring around 9 pounds. Not really a big deal but it did make me a little nervous. I mainly wanted to experience going into labor on my own since with Bentley I never had a uninduced contraction. There were lots of other things I had on my birth plan, but this was a big want for me.

Well, I got my wish. On Saturday, May 15 (my due date), I started having contractions at 8 a.m. I had already had two false labor episodes but these felt different. They got closer together and more paiful throughout the day and we went to labor & delivery at 8 that evening. I was having contractions every 5-7 minutes, but I was only 3 cm so they didn't want to keep me. I tried to sleep but woke Paul up crying at 3 a.m. and back to hospital we went. There was no progress so they sent me home again. At this point I was very frustrated and in a lot of pain. I have a pretty low pain tolerance so I thought well maybe I'm just a wuss. Later Sunday morning contractions were still 5-7 min. apart so we headed to the hospital again. We stopped just outside labor & delivery for me to go to the bathroom, and while I was in there my water broke. I was wearing gray yoga pants so I had to walk the rest of the way and into the unit looking like I had majorly peed my pants. I was still only 3 cm but they had to keep me because my water had broken.

Fast forward a bunch of hours of pitocen and I was dialated to 6 cm. Chance's heart rate dropped way low during each contraction and he only liked it when I laid on my right side. My epidural continually wore off and they had to keep giving me more medicine (this happened with Bentley too). I developed a fever so they stopped checking me to avoid introducing even more bacteria. My mom and sister arrived sometime while all this was going on and Paul left me with my mom to go pick up Bentley and take him and my sister to our house. I wrote down every time they checked me so I could later put the timeline in Chance's baby book. Suddenly I felt the worst pain ever and the need to push. The midwife rushed in and I was still only 6 cm. I don't know how long this went on. It felt like 5 hours, but it might have only been 30 minutes. She asked me what I wanted to do. I remember saying I just want to cry. I want it to be over. I give up. So the OB came in to talk to me about a c-section and we waited for Paul to get back.

It all happened very fast from there. Being wheeled to the operating room and so much going on around me. I was so so tired. They had to give me even more epidural medicine and it made me shiver violently. If it wasn't for that I probably would have slept through the whole thing. Chance was born at 11:45 p.m. on Sunday, May 16, almost 40 hours after contractions started. I could barely open my eyes to look at him. They had to take him to the NICU though to get an IV for antibiotics since I had an infection during labor.

I could probably write a whole post about how strange the c-section was for me. After they pulled him out the anesthesiologist said, "there goes her pressure." Someone asked what it is and she says 80/40 and then starts massaging the arteries in my neck. I remember thinking this is it, I'm dying. But no one was really acting concerned or panicky so I figured it was okay. Paul watched the whole thing and I asked him 100 times "what are they doing now?" It felt like it took forever. I had a cyst on my ovary that they removed and they just kept talking about it. I wanted to say hurry up already. I was shaking so hard the whole time and it was just really annoying me.

Afterward I would think "what if." What if the pain wasn't as bad as I remember? What if I wasn't such a wuss? What if I didn't have to have a c-section? Mommy guilt gets you no matter what. They told me though, as they were pulling him out, that he wouldn't have fit. He never descended into my pelvis, he was just too big. He was also facing up and the wrong part of his head was pressing on my cervix. No matter how he came out we are so thankful to have him here with us, happy and healthy.

Here is our first picture. This shows how tired I was. I was really trying hard to open my eyes and smile.

He was a big boy.

4th of July

We wanted to follow in our San Diego Independence Day tradition and spend the day at the beach followed by watching fireworks over the bay. Problem- it has been COLD. The high was 67. Add the wind coming off the ocean and it feels like winter. We still wanted to go and let Bentley play in the sand though. He had a blast, shivering and all.I didn't get any pictures of the cool sandcastle they built because Chance and I spent the entire time like this...The fireworks were awesome though. Bentley loved it and kept saying "wow mommy, wow daddy" after each one went off. Chance nursed right through them, not bothered at all by the loud booms..

Family of Four

Chance is already 6 weeks old! In some ways it has flown by, and in other ways it feels like it's been forever. I've started a post several times, but I usually only get a sentence or two before I'm needed. After Bentley goes to bed Chance has his fussy time and even showering isn't as important as sleep. Thankfully though Chance is a great sleeper. I was really worried since Bentley was such a good sleeper (up until about 7 months old). Most people say the 2nd child is the opposite of the first. Bentley on the other hand has not been sleeping very good. I'll blame it on the 5:30 sunrise.

At 6 weeks our home scale says Chance is 14 lb. I haven't measure his length lately, but 2 weeks ago he was 23 1/4 in. He loves to eat and will not take a bottle or a pacifier. I'm desperately trying to find a bottle he will take. I'm not coordinated enough to nurse without the boppy. He is awake more and more every day. He has given me a few smiles, but I had to work really hard for them.

Bentley is a great big brother. He loves to give Chance kisses and says "my Chance" when he wants to hold him. The only jealousy behaviors I have noticed is him being more clingy and preferring daddy when he is home.

I'm going to try to write out Chance's birth story in the next few days so I don't forget it. I wish I had wrote Bentley's down because I can't remember certain details two and half years later.

After my shower the other night I came downstairs to find this:

Our New Favorite Place

On Sundays we like to drive around and look for fun places to walk or play. We have found several walking/bike paths along the water, and several of them have playgrounds. Last weekend though we found the place. A long stretch of beautiful beach with lots of rocks and sea shells to look at and a cool breeze. We liked it so much we went back this weekend, and I actually remembered to bring my camera.

It's not very busy because it's a surf only beach. There were lots of people surfing, but not many people on the beach. One runner stopped and asked if we'd like a picture of all three of us. It is very rare to see me in any pictures.

I had one lady ask me if I was due any day, and when I told her I have 4 weeks left she asked if it was twins. Maybe it's the stripes, but I'm definately very large.

Bentley's favorite thing is to wait for the waves and then run when they come up. They did this probably 20 times, and he cried when we had to leave.
We had a great time, and everyone had to take a nap when we got home.

The View From Here

32 weeks.

There is some concern that this little guy is going be somewhat large. Hopefully that will not be the case.

Naming Baby

When I found out I was pregnant with Bentley, we knew Paul would be leaving in a few short weeks. We started looking at names right away. I had a list of names I have liked for a while, and they all got vetoed. We would just throw names back and forth whenever we thought of one. One day Paul said "Bentley," and that was just it. We both loved it. We already had a middle name picked out (Ceaf - my dad's middle name and his grandpa's middle name). We never came up with a girl's name, but it didn't matter.

This time I started a list, but we didn't discuss it much. Paul wasn't leaving so we had plenty of time. We didn't really care about any meaning behind the name (Bentley means grassy meadow), just one we both agree on and that sounds good with the middle names we had picked out (family names). Then at my first OB visit at 11 weeks, a nightmare came true. The midwife looked and looked, but there was no baby. I was given three options; to take a pill that day that would induce a miscarriage, schedule a d&c for the next day, or wait. I was in a state of shock, and Paul was not there with me. I said I would wait. That next week was probably the hardest and most confusing week of my life. I was so upset and anxious, but at the same time this little bit of hope would not go away. Nothing happened so I made an appointment to see the midwife again and schedule a d&c. When I went back for the follow-up a different midwife did an ultrasound, and there on the screen was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. A little baby with a beautiful heartbeat just wiggling away.

There is a very simple explanation as to why we didn't see the baby during the first ultrasound, and there are several things the midwife could have done that would have changed the way I felt when I left that first appointment. My bladder was too full. It was a transvaginal ultrasound, so my bladder was blocking the baby. What she saw that she thought was my uterus was just a cyst. Paul and I were both very upset, but the relief we felt overshadowed our anger.

So, the reason I tell this story now, 16 weeks later, is because it made us want a meaning behind this baby boy's name. I kept thinking "what if." What if I had taken this midwife's advice because she knows more than I do, and had gone home that day with a pill that would have aborted my healthy baby. I am beyond thankful that the Lord put doubt in my mind. We feel like he is somewhat of a miracle (although all babies are miracles). We want his name to be a reflection of this story.

Unfortunately I am not going to post what his name is. We have decided, but have not told anyone yet. It may or may not be announced before he is born, but we both love it and are thankful that we get to be this little boy's parents. He is much more active than Bentley was. I could sit all day and poke my belly just to feel him roll away or poke me back.